Monday, July 28, 2008

Audition Expert

Finally I get the call to audition for a popular daytime drama (aka a soap) for a huge role - a background player. It's hotter than hell on a July morning when I approach the the casting office, getting annoyed at the fact that I cannot contain my perspiration. As I open the door, I am surprised that the office is like any other office - full of cubicles, telephones ringing, computer dorks, and interns racing around while attempting to look composed. As I turn to my left I notice several actors sitting around a coffee table doing their acting thing - reading magazines, looking over scripts, meditating (I love these guys!) and one guy who has his cowboy boots perched prominently on the table while he is literally shouting into his cell phone. He says "What time's the shoot? Oh, sh*t, I don't know if I can make that - can they move the time back? What? Oh, I'm at some soap audition and I have no idea how long it's going to take. What?? I can't hear you (as he raises his voice). Oh, I've been here for at least 20 minutes and I think there might be a couple of dudes in front me. OK, let me see what I can do." He slams his cell phone shut and begins asking everyone how long they've been there, attempting to let everyone in the office know he has been waiting for some time. None of the actors want anyone in the office to see them talking to this guy so their answers are very short. Finally, the casting director walks out and says "William, we're ready for you." Just then the guy (who thinks no one can hear him) says "F**k, I can't believe this..." Astounded, everyone turns and looks at him. This is a guy who could care less about being put on the spot and says to "William" (and the casting director) "Hey bro, don't take too long there cause I got sh*t to do.." Hell yeah he does, but I highly doubt anything to do with this soap will affect his calendar.

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